Forgive us our debts; as we forgive our debtors.

Well, by now I am sure you realize that I am no great writer.  However, I find that blogging allows me to ponder things God speaks to me about.  I have been told for many years to write things down as God shows me.  I have been putting it off for a very long time.

I am certain if you have been following my blog that you get the picture that we are all exposed to offenses.  Scripture tells us that if any of us offends not that we are a perfect man/woman.  Last time I checked I couldn’t walk on water nor multiply fish and bread. Lol!  Part of the solution is to be aware of offenses, “know thy self.”  If offended recognize it, isolate it and confess it to the Lord.  He is faithful to hear you and help you through the toughest of situations.

Going over this experience some of the things I gleaned from this time of teaching from the Lord is that if the offense is great enough, a man can justify the most evil of acts.  We often think that by our decision to hold grudge, or cut people out of our lives that we penalize them and we all know that they couldn’t hardly live with out us in their life.  Sounds a bit arrogant, that’s because it is.  Anger, wrath, envy, malice are all children of pride.  Again, I will repeat we have no right, to take matters into our own hands.  We were created by God, rebelled against God, received the bitter fruit of our disobedience; God sent His son and redeemed us by His own blood.  “You are not your own you were bought with a price.”  Jesus is Lord!  At least He is supposed to be.  When we act out of vengeance we put ourselves in the place of God.  And even if we didn’t physically hurt someone, Jesus said; that our anger is just as if we would have murdered the offender in our hearts, and instead of taking on the nature of God through His Spirit.  We take on the nature of Satan.  I recall the Lord actually telling a group of religious leaders who on the outside appeared to be holy and righteous, However, the Lord knowing their hearts exposed them as being posers and told them your father is not Abraham but the Devil.  Here I go preaching again. Lol!

About 7 years ago, I was in between jobs and a friend of mine was a bus driver for Denver RTD.  He was going to make some extra money moonlighting as a taxi driver or you might know them as a Cabby.  Anyway, I began driving a cab for about 6 or 7 months.  This was a very dark time in my life.  I was in ministry, I loved the Lord, but I had areas that I had not surrendered to Him.  Anyway, that is another blog for another time. 

I was at a men’s breakfast meeting at our church.  I had this conversation with one of the pastors that was speaking at the meeting.  We exchanged regular small talk, what do you do for a living?  Blah,blah, blah… I told him I was working as a cabby.  His ears perked up because he was the proud owner of a limousine service.  Well, he must have known a sucker when he met one. I imagine he saw the look on my face when I began to drill him about the Limo business.  I am sure you know where this this story is going.  I took out a loan and traded my truck for a rusted out, non operating limo service with no clients.  He absolutely, swindled me.  Only, my heart and the condition of my life was actually the greater culprit.

I was devastated, he was a notary so the agreement was iron clad when I told him I wasn’t going to pay, he placed a lien on my house.  My wife just about killed me when I drove up in this 20 year old Limo that was just a piece of crap.  I still remember her words… WHAT DID YOU DO!!!!

My heart dropped and I got that feeling in my stomach like I was going to be sick.  Knowing that I was not going to go through the hassle of litigation.  I got the cashiers check and took the keys to the truck over to his house.  I looked him square in His eyes and told him God be the judge over you and me.  You know that what you are doing is evil.  Handed him the money and the keys.  Tears filled my eyes as I drove off.

Being the eternal optimist that I was I remember telling my wife, that this was a $5000 lesson and that now I know what not to do in the future.  My wife is such a good woman because she saw the pain I was I was going through and supported me through it.   However, the pain of having this huge inoperable vehicle in my driveway was more than I could bear.  It was like someone plunging a huge knife into my gut every evening when I came home. 

Two months later, I called a buddy of mine and had him tow it off my property. I told him I don’t care what you do with it just take it away.

Life was getting back to normal, we were looking to refinance our home and the mortgage broker told me that when he did the title work on the house for the refi that their was a Mechanics Lien on the house.  I remembered and relived this whole experience again.  I had to go see him and have him remove the lien and sign a paper indicating that it had been satisfied. 

I knocked on his door on sunny Denver morning, I didn’t know what to expect.  He answers the door in a wheel chair and I discovered that he was in a car accident, his father died and his wife and son had left him.  I was blown away! My heart broke with compassion, because I knew that God used this situation to deal with the brokenness in both of our lives.  He signed the papers and that was the last I saw of him.

Remember, I told you that this whole journey started with God telling me to love your enemies.  Well my wife and I were preparing to start church and Four Square the organization we are licensed through was having an event similar to a community carnival to bless the community and to celebrate the new churches that were going to launch.

While at the event, the MC called all the church planting pastors up to announce them to the community.  I looked across the way and who do you think I saw being announced as one of the new church plants in Denver.  You got it.  Our eyes met and he looked as though he had seen a ghost.  It had been over 7 years since I had last seen him.  My heart was overwhelmed with a sense of amazement because it was like this was the completion of a lesson the Lord personally walked me through over a 3 Month period.  Immediately, I thought of the scripture reference to love your enemies and pray for those that use you. 

We had a booth at the event and this pastor, his wife and son came over to where my wife and I were we were at very humbly with his head in a submissive position not knowing what to expect.  I looked him square in the eyes and greeted him warmly, shook his hand as to say; it is alright.  He returned the gesture with a book and hug.  We didn’t continue in discourse we didn’t even talk the rest of the event.  For the first time I knew what the Lord meant when he said;

Matt 5:43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor[g] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,[h] 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven

My heart was filled with a sense of AWE.  My wife didn’t remember him, I told her take a mental picture and I will tell you what happened later.  I wasn’t sure how she would react.  When I got home I sat down with my wife and went over this teaching and she actually laughed with me as I shared this story with her.  God gave me the perfect partner in life. 

As we grow in love, we grow in God.  Salvation is the greek word Sozo it is a progressive act of being saved.  It is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  Sorry to simplify this definition to this level but often times we make it so hard.

John 17:3 And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.

When you realize how great of a salvation God has provided for us and how he called us to partner with Him to redeem all of mankind.  When you begin to see the glorious life you are destined to have and become as we live through Him.  Don’t leave it up to someone else to define your life for you.  Ask God to reveal to you why he created you and what you were designed to be.

Bye for now………..

Love ya

Ed 

I can't do this!

So, now I have this hyper focus on offenses, they are everywhere.  And suddenly I have this epiphany... I am one of the biggest perpetrators. I am offensive to my wife, kids parents... I quickly realize... "I can't do this!."  At least not in my own strength.  The good news is that we are not alone, and if God commands that we forgive in order to be forgiven then he has provided the strength and ability to forgive others.  Even our enemies.  Often times we are so absorbed with ourselves that we allow offensive behavior to go unnoticed and then unchecked.  At least until it is aimed at us.

When I would fall into offense from either side I quickly acknowledged that I had no right to make final judgements about the situation and if I was the offender, then I would quickly ask the Lord for forgiveness and for help to forgive.  I wouldn't always go to the person, they are under just as much obligation to manage their heart before the Lord as I do.  Which brings up an interesting point.  Sometimes we feel like in order to forgive we have to go to the person and tell them all the things we feel about them or said about them or did to them behind their back.  Then, we expect them to forgive us because if they really are christians then well Jesus says;  blah,blah,blah.....  When we forgive it is a heart issue between us and God.  Yes often times God will use an encounter between individuals to bring about healing, but usually time has expired since the offense and the perspectives have been cleared.

Let me tell you to what lengths I went through to better understand this subject matter.  I went to a conference in Colorado, while there I had purposed to meet with a family member who I hadn't seen in some time.  Well through a series of events and reasons beyond my control, we were unable to connect.  I spoke to this individual over the phone and he was cordial and told me it was ok but I had this feeling like it really wasn't.  Prior to this we had been very close; talking on the phone once or twice per week really flourishing in our relationship.  After the situation I mention above something was different.  I asked him if I had done something to offend him and he said no, but through tone and word choice I knew that something was wrong.  Our talks became much less frequent, he began to stagger in his support of our parents, days grew into weeks and weeks into months since I last heard from him. This all happened during the time the Lord began to teach me about offenses.  On this one occasion I texted him because I was starting to take offense with the fact that he could just disregard my friendship and it was more of a hurt then what we may call a typical offense.  So I told him, I have to let you know that I am a bit hurt that you would cut me off the way you have. As soon as I said that; Out came the poison and he began to name dates and times, he began to assign motive and intent and before I knew it I was tried, judged and executed all in one safe swoop.  I was set back.  I had this out of body experience, it was like I was looking down on the whole situation.  I had two ways I could go with this.  It didn't help that this brief communication was all via text.  I never encourage you to attempt issues like this through texting, it never works.  I felt bad for him, I actually began to see that for the last several months he was in a prison, tormented and it cost him dearly to carry out or should I say neglect the relationship that had taken so long to foster.  I knew he loved me but the offense had forced him to live out in a way that is contrary to love.  As a matter of fact, the ones we love the most are the ones that offend the deepest.

I texted these words:  I am sorry if I hurt you.  I would never intentionally do anything like you describe of my own choosing.  This conversation is going downward really fast.  I prefer not to continue this dialogue any further.  However, know this, I love you, you are my brother and you could never do anything that would make me stop loving you.  Why don't we give it a little time and pick this up after we have had some time to think.  Need less to say he changed his word choices and today we have since then spoken and resolved our misunderstandings and love is the basis of our relationship once again.

I shared this teaching with him and his response was overwhelmingly positive.  He said it was like he was empowered to fight against offenses because he realized that due to offenses he struggled to draw near to God and others.

Jesus took 12 men and shared His life and understanding with them for 3 and half years.  When he would teach them he would usually do it experientially.  He would usually enter the situation, act or say accordingly, then teach them the principles of why and how His kingdom operates.

Is it any different today?  He walks with us in the middle of our life threatening situations and through his Word teaches us His principles to overcome and succeed through our life struggles.  Sometimes we want to mystify our interaction with the Lord.  If this is you that's ok.  Some where we can also use the practical to draw experience and knowledge as walk through this journey of life.

We can handle offenses in one of two ways.  We can consider the person, their character and where they are in life and give them grace and through our actions represent Christ and help them recover from the trap that could alienate them from their relationship to Christ or we can take a posture of self justification attempting to preserve our good name and put up a stumbling block that could rob them of their very salvation.

Love ya!

More to come....

Ed

With God all things are possible!

My journey took me from contemplating and considering the Lords command to love your enemies to deliberately taking steps towards walking free from offense.  Interesting thing happened.  I began to discover that offense is every where and this is not going to be easy.  If I allow myself to take or pick up offense then I have to justify my position and uphold my judgements in order to avoid being wrong. In my mind I think well he/she deserves this or that to happen because they messed up or they did this wrong or that wrong.  If you think about it in order for us to stay upset or angry at any given situation.  We have to continually relive the offense and justify our judgements regarding the actions of the offender being absolutely wrong and then usually we assign a negative motive or premeditation to the act or deed that then adds a greater sting to the offense.

Have you ever withheld love or kindness due to an offense.  Have you ever wasted days, weeks or even years giving someone the silent treatment because of offense.  I dare not speak of a vengeful acts that may have been carried out due to the pain and suffering you may have experienced.

I ask that you prayerfully read the following scripture and consider my words.  This is not an exhaustive look at this subject.  It is simply one mans self discovery during his quest to grow in faith and love for God.

Here is what the Lord began to show me.  

^{Matthew 18:21} Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 
²² Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. ²³ Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. ²⁵ But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. ²⁶ The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ ²⁷ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. 
²⁸ “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’²⁹ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet^[d] and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’^[e] 30 And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. ³¹ So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. ³² Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. ³³ Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ ³⁴And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. 
³⁵ “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”




This story really messed me up because the Lord used it to reveal the brokenness in my own life.  I have been forgiven and healed of so much. Needless to say when I started to put focus on this endeavor, I became more aware that without God's help I will not be successful.
I have no right to hold another person in contempt.  Somewhere we loose sight of how far we have come since the Lord redeemed us. Then almost with an air of self righteousness we look down on the flaws or shortcomings of others.  I know that there are horrible things that are done in darkness and for the life of me I pray you never have to experience such evil.  I am in no way making light of the pain or hurt you may have experienced. I am not just giving a shallow suggestion to simply believe the bible reference.  If you are ever going to be free and healed of the pain that offenses create then you must invite the Lord to help you forgive and release you from the poison infecting your heart.  When the Lord commands us to love our enemies, it is because he has provided the power by His Spirit to tap into His divine nature and from that new nature to walk not as mere men but as sons/daughters of God.
  


The scripture above reveals this wicked pattern and forces us to look inward before we impose our judgements on another. If we choose not to, then we often times bring upon ourselves the self determined judgement that we pronounce on others.


It is impossible for us to continue or maintain communion with God, if our hearts are filled with malice or hatred.


I will remind you of this: "With God all things are possible."


Bye for now.... More to come.


Love ya!


Ed

Jesus you want me to do WHAT?.?.?.?.?.?

Well this is my first attempt to blog.  I love technology!  It is amazing how in a moment of time I can share my thoughts and feelings to all of my friends and family and in a personal sort of way be connected to my community.  I am going to begin blogging and sharing the vision God put in my heart 20 years ago.  I have  had the privilege of working with some of the greatest spiritual leaders you could find anywhere.  There are times when the Timothy's have to become the Paul's.  Metaphorically speaking if all you do is eat and grow spiritually and never take the time to develop others than you will reach a place where you can go no further until you answer the call to minister and disciple younger believers, where the student becomes the teacher, where the son, becomes the father.


Ok enough of that stuff.... Remember this is my first post.


Back in January of this year I was in prayer when the Lord gently spoke to me; "you have to Love your enemies."  I paused and said; you want me to do What!?  So, knowing that this reference was in the bible I looked it up and and prayerfully pondered the scripture.


^{Matt 5:43} “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor^[g] and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,^[h] 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. ⁴⁶ For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? ⁴⁷ And if you greet your brethren^[i] only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors^[j] do so? ⁴⁸Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.


As I read and reread this passage and compared this to His character which I have grown to know over my life time, I began to get excited. Because if He commands us to LOVE our enemies and not just tolerate them but to proactively Love and pray for them, then that meant that I could grow in this Love, by His Spirit to a place where I could even Love my enemies.  I don't have to tell you that I have a lot of issues. Did I mention I have a lot of issues.  But one thing that comes fairly easy to me is to see the best in people and I may get angry for a moment, but when I stop and consider the situation and realize that the motives of offense may have little or nothing to do with me in particular or it may be an opportunity for the other person to grow and develop themselves.  Than I usually forgive and release the individual from the prison of unforgiveness.  Like I or any one really has the power to lock another individual in a prison.  Actually if you think about it there is a prison alright but usually we are the ones that go in, and every time the remembrance of the offense occurs we replay it over and over and over again.  With each time the chains of the offense becoming heavier and heavier. 


Anyway, as I continued in prayer the Lord began to show me that every major tragedy in history caused by human hands or through thought or speech can be traced to an offense.  I thought to myself, really Lord? So I began to think about this and this is no exhaustive dissertation, but try to think of one for yourself where it occurred without an offense.


At the very beginning Genesis when this whole mess started, Satan told Adam psst..  hey psst... Did God really say don't eat of the fruit? The reason he said that you dope, is because he knows that the moment you eat it you will be like Him knowing good and evil.


What?  God would keep something good like this from me? Was Adam's response.


Well the rest is History.  Oh what a bloody, messy, broken messed up history it has been.  As a matter of fact the only good news is the promise of redemption he would provide through His son.


Listen I don't mean to preach. Honest, you just need some of the back story.  So I left that brief moment encourage having prayed Lord I welcome you to help me grow in Love to the place where I can Love my enemies.  Very dangerous prayer because usually when we grow or develop we under go a struggle or a time of testing where God proves us and helps us through the difficulty.


From that moment I shared with my wife, honey, I am going to a live a life where I do not allow offense to grip my life.  Someone may offend me but I am not going to pick it up. I am going to walk in forgiveness.


Hours turned into days I began to notice a difference in my experiment.  I found that if I even whispered God's name or called out to the Lord BoOM! He was there immediately.  Not like a Genie. But I didn't have to work at moving into His presence. Normally, I would have to listen to worship music, repent of sin, or simply raise my voice louder as if he couldn't hear me right? But when I proactively began to become aware of offense and how was everywhere, it was all around me.  We as americans can be very prideful, sometimes we get offended with the way others look or smell, ignorance, lack of money or social status, beliefs or lack there of.  I had to repent a lot during the first few weeks because I began to see the condition of my heart and because of this as I said earlier the benefit was an unbroken fellowship/communion with the Lord.


Well by for now..... More to come!


Love ya


Ed